hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
