i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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