God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
