just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
