i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
