Just fell off a train. Bad.
he thought i was a dude.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
