I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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