We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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