White coat. Heels.
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
