Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
