First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
