Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
