You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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