i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
