sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
