I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
