That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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