Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
