I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
