I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
