She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
