We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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