he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
