return my video game
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
