were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
