When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
