you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
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