A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
