franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
