..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
