So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
