guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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