What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
