what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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