I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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