They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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