oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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