I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
