Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
