Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I had to cum in my sink.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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