He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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