now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
