mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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