He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
