Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
