WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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