apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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