Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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