Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My vagina is very pro this idea
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
