Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Randomize
