Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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