I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
