i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
